lxforgetmenotxl

Friends only.

2008-12-02T05:23:36Z

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-12-01T13:47:00

2008-12-01T19:06:47Z

A
- Available: No.
- Age: 18.
- Annoyance: Fake people? Liars.
- Animal: Llama/goat/sheep.

B
- Beer: Budlight.
- Birthday: 12/22/89
- Best Friends: Em, Kendra, Zane.
- Best feeling in the world: Feeling loved.
- Best weather: Decently hot.
- Been in Love: Yes, I really think so.
- Been on stage?: Up until about 4th grade.
- Believe in Magic: It's fun to pretend it's real.
- Believe in God: Still contemplating him.
- Believe in Santa: Until I was about 8.

C
- Candy: Just about anything, but not really sour stuff.
- Color: The perfect blue.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate.
- Chinese/Mexican: Mexican.
- Cake or pie: Cake.
- Continent/Country to visit: Ireland, Africa, Mexico.
- Cheese: Is good.

D
- Day or Night: Both respectively.
- Dance in the rain?: Yes, amongst other things.

E
- Eggs: Scrambled.
- Eyes: Blueblueblue.
- Everyone's got a(n): Thumpthump.
- Ever failed a class?: Nope.

F
- Full name: Holly Lynn Richmond.
- Food: Anything without meat.

G
- Greatest Fear: Losing the people I love.
- Goals: To finish school, to start a life.
- Gum: Anything tasty.
- Get along with your parents?: For the most part.
- Good luck charm: Don't have one.

H
- Hair Color: Nearly black.
- Height: 5' even.
- Happy: Yes.
- Holiday: Halloween.

I
- Ice Cream: Chocolate/peanut butter.
- Instrument: I can play the guitar- but I'm a sucker for that drummer of mine.

J
- Jewelry: Bracelets, earrings, rings.
- Job: Gamestop slave :D

K
- Kids: One. Oneday.
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate.
- Keep a journal?: On and off recording of thoughts. LJ.

L
- Longest Car Ride: To Colorado, then to West Virginia, then back.
- Love: is all you need.
- Letter: H, Z, E, K- the fun ones to write down.
- Laughed so hard you cried: It's been done. xD
- Milk flavor: Bleh milk.
- Movies: Last watched- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
- Motion sickness?: Has to be pretty extreme motion.
- McD’s or BK: BK.

N
- Number of Siblings: 1 real deal. 3 fakers.
- Number of Piercings: 6
- Number: 3

O
- One wish: To grow up and get married and live in the woods by the pond with the people I love. I'm so lame. xD

P
- Perfect Pizza: Cheese/black olives.
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke.

Q
- Quail: Are pretty cute for funny looking birds.

R
- Reason to cry: Frustration, sadness.
- Reality T.V.: Is sometimes amusing.
- Radio Station: When desperate.
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yes.
- Ring size: 6.

S
- Song: Currently- Wrestlers by Hot Chip.
- Shoe size: 4 in guys/ 6 in girls.
- Salad Dressing: Honey mustard can go on anything. xD
- Sushi: Without the fishes.
- Skipped school: I've never left school, I've not gone plenty.
- Slept outside: Yes.
- Skinny dipped?: Yes.
- Shower daily?: Almost daily.
- Sing well?: Not at all.
- In the shower?: Nope.
- Swear?: Too much.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Blueberries.

T
- Time for bed: When dead tired/when people leave the party.
- Thunderstorms: Are excellent to play in, and stuff. :P

U
- Unpredictable: Life.

V
- Vacation spot: I'ma get to Ireland one day.

W
- Weakness: Over emotional when over tired.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: None of them? I don't know.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Zane for adorable sillyness and sarcastic remarks. Em for our fighting, everything tends to lead to yelling and then it gets really funny. Kendra- just because man. "Kendra, left or right?" ... ... ... "Oh, you're taking a left here- just so you know" xD
- Worst feeling: That awkward aloneness.
- Wanted to be a model?: Haha. Never.
- Where do we go when we die?: Lake of fire.
- Worst Weather?: So cold it hurts.

X
- X-Rays: Are neat.
- Ex's: Are gone for reasons.

Y
- Year it is now: 2008.
- Yellow: Is the sun!

Z
- Zoo animal: I like goats.

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in your bed beside you?: me and Za have lazed.
2. You went to the mall with?: Em and Kendra.
3. You went to dinner with?: Zane.
4. You talked to on the phone?: Zane.
5. Made you laugh?: Zane.
6. Hugged you?: Zane.
7. Said they loved you? Zane.
8. Held your hand?: Zane.
9. Spoke with? Zane.
10. You cried over?: Oh, I don't even know. Zane probably xP

I'm so tired.

2008-12-01T04:55:50Z

I'm so tired my brain hurts, my eyes hurt, everything is just like, -ugh- but, all worth it as usual.
Friday morning I worked in the Black Friday nonsense from 8am-12 then went home and lazed for a bit, then went to Zane's and at night rolled face with my boy, with everyone actually, there was one head that wasn't rolling and she was just a really nice stranger who laughed at us all dancing. It was funny, she was a great stranger. Rolling was excellent, people were excellent, Sequoyah dancing, Wylie in a white beater dancing like a chicken, my boy without a shirt on dancing (I don't know how he got shirtless at any point in time, at all, no clue, but it was hot) Me, Bre and Amber dancing, Brad dancing. I danced, you danced, we all danced. That was so tiring but some wicked lovely things were said, about how much we all loved each other and appreciated each other and it was all sweet.
Party was cancelled Saturday night, some people still came over, because they always do regardless, the UVM boys were on their way out to get home for today which sucked, because I only saw them about 2 times, and I very much like them both. People smoked opium, it smelled and tasted really good and made my cold face tingle something silly. People drank as well, vodka still, which I unhappily drink too every time, to stay warm and because the mix-drink always tastes good. People were gone by like 3ish, except for poor very drunk Feeley, who slept on the couch until 9am this morning. Me and Za slept on and off until 2:30pm, it was much needed since I had been away 7am-7am Friday to Saturday then 12pm-3am Saturday to Sunday. Then we went and brought Bre cake and Ramen at Brad's and we hung around for a bit, then Bre freaked out about cigarettes and her frantic freaking voice made all my "war-tired" (as Za calls it) anxiety bubble and on the way home I freaked a little then stood in the doorway at home freaking for a few seconds, then said goodbye and left for my house. Then like a zombie got a few things done.
And now I'm super super stupid exhausted.

Zane's show is Tuesday night at AS220 and I'm so excited xD

<3 Oh and he's the most lovely boy in the entire world. I'm still falling further and further in love with him, and it's crazy.

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-26T18:38:00

2008-11-27T00:52:58Z

Just got home from work. Today was super tiring, been up since 4:30am, but it's cool. Today came out way better than I ever thought it would. School went decently well, knocked 2.5 hours off the 8 I need in MathLab to qualify for the IC, and I took a test and got a decent grade. One more test and 5.5hours to go before I don't need to worry about Math Lab until next semester. Breakfast was good with Zane, climbing in bed with him at 6am was even better. I stole his favorite green plaid shirt, its sooo mine now. >.< Geology exam went a lot more smoothly than I thought it would, I think I'll get a decent grade on that as well and besides he drops the lowest grade and my other two are good. Work was tiring but fun and funny and enjoyable despite the minor blips of chaos.
Didn't end up buying what me and Za wanted today, instead we got rolls which is good just not as profitable which isn't as good, but whatever, we'll see. Rolla-blades are fun shit xD
So tired- off to relax.
Me and Zane function so much like a serious solid couple now it makes my heart clench. The way he drives my car and how we go out to eat and the way we holds hands in the car. Idunno, it feels so solid, it's amazing.

<3

Boredom.

2008-11-25T21:59:29Z

Did you lose your virginity in your own bed?
No- my boyfriend's

What was your first alcoholic beverage?
Screwdriver

How old were you when you first smoked weed?
Thirteen

Have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
Nope.

Have you ever taken someone back after they've cheated?
Nope.

Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?
Of course- I took Forensic Science for one.

Have you ever peed while on the phone?
Sure, and while off the phone ;P

What do you have pierced on you?
Earses.

What do you have tattooed on you?
My wrist has the rune for protection.

What reality shows do you watch?
When I sit with my mom on Thursday nights, she watches Survivor, so via proxy, I do too.

When is the last time you saw fireworks?
Funny question- last night by the pond. ^^

Do you remember your first favorite song?
Yes.

Are you taller than your mom?
Nope.

Favorite fruit?
Cherrys.

Vegetable?
Potatoes, I think, I don't know.

What are you planning on doing after filling this out?
A reader response thing for class tonight.

What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
It'd be difficult, but we'd make do I guess.

Do you sleep on your stomach?
Almost always.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
Yep.

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I really doubt it.

What are you listening to?
ManMan. :)

Next time you will kiss someone?
Tomorrow.

Who are the people you would do anything for?
Friends, family- anyone I love.

Do you get along better with the same sex or opposite?
I'm around the opposite sex much more often, but I don't know- I get along with the people around me, otherwise I wouldn't be around them. Ya dig?

How did you and your number 4 become friends?
He's my cousin, but I met him when I was like, 2?

Are you happy with your life at the the moment?
Very much so.

What is something you disliked about your day?
Headache, math stress, life stress, rain. It's not a good day really.

Last time you talked to your number one?
Yesterday.

Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?
I could.

Your current relationship status?
Involved. :P

Do you currently hate someone?
Nope.

What are/were you doing at 12 this afternoon?
Just getting home and nearly exploding with stress.

Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
I bleach my hair, but not to stay blonde.

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
Mhmm, but I lost those layers of skin, so it was okay -.-'

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Mhmm, I can read any book in a day, but I do it on purpose with really good ones.

If you could move to Africa, would you?
I think so, I'd like to, I like the desert.

How long would it take you to walk home from school?
About an hour, I used to when it was warm and nice.

What do you have to do tomorrow?
Wake up super early to go to Zane's then school, and then work and then maybe Zane's again to drop off some stuff.

What were you doing at 9 this morning?
Leaving for Philosophy class.

How's your heart?
Thumpthumpin.

Are you picky about who you give your number to?
Not really, I just later choose to answer or not.

Last place you watched a movie and who with?
Zane's, with Zane. >_> go figure. We watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you?
Possibly, dunno really.

Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with?
I don't hate people- and there's just indifference now.

Do you like anyone?
Yeah, it's been a while now.

What are you looking forward to?
Um, tomorrow will be okay, seeing the sun would be lovely, Thursday will be fun, Friday will be funner, Saturday will be ridiculous.

Do you wish somebody would call you? And why?
Sure, because he said he wanted to talk, and I'd like to know about what o.O

Does anyone love you?
Family, a select few other peoples.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
Yep.

Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?
Hahah yeah a few times.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
A little while ago, I don't remember why. o.O

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Not if I'm tired, then I'm just bleh.

Do you wave when you see people you know?
Depending.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Mhmm, family and my close friends and some of my getting-closer-to-me friends. Idunno.

Who was the last person to call you?
Zane. :)

Is this year the best year of your life?
That's debatable.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with C or Z?
Hahah finally this question with a Z. Yesyesyes, I kiss him lots. Zane.

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
Well, no, no regrets. I wouldn't be here without first being there.

If the person who hurt you the most in your life apologized, would you forgive?
Been done, just not forgotten.

Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
Nope. I'm the only one in my immediate family with blue eyes.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yep.

Ever kissed under water?
Hahaha yes, it's awkward.

Does it matter if your boy/girl smokes?
No, he does, it's alright.

Do you lecture people about drugs?
Hahah no, I'm not a hypocrit.

Would you like to put last night on repeat, and live it forever?
I wouldn't live it forever, last night was good though. Good times with just Zane and then with good people.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
Sure, we all effect each other in some ways, not necessarily good though.

Has anyone told you lately that they would always be there for you?
No, people generally have never told me that, but I feel it, and that speaks louder than the words I think.

<3

-Yawn-

2008-11-25T14:02:56Z

Well goodmorning.
It's raining, therefore nothing is good; not really.

I'm really fucking tired and I really wish I wasn't because it's Tuesday! and Tuesdays are long and horrible to me. Well maybe not so bad, I might not have my night class tonight, which will be great, I'll get good sleep since I've got to get up at 5am tomorrow to go get Zane. Then I've got an exam, not even class, and not even lab after that, and I forgot about that, because I'll have this big chunk of time between no school and work, which I might use to bring Zane home? Or somewhere, or something, maybe just back to my house with me for a while. Work is only from 3-6pm. I'm not thrilled, but who can really whole-heartedly argue with three hours? It probably won't be busy, I'll alphabetize games and talk to whoevers working too and that'll be that- in and out really. Then maybe Zane's again? When I had mentioned that I might just go home, or go over, I will flip flopping about it, he was leaning towards me going over- which he's been doing lately, laying down his strong but subtle hints that he wants me there when I can be there.

We went out to McDonald's in Connecticut at 8:30pm last night, who does that? We ended up alone yesterday for a long time before like 10:30ish which was good. Brad, Douglas and Pudge stopped over once like right after I got there, maybe around 3pm and we smoked a blunt, and then they left for some reason. So then we were alone for a good chunk of time, and we laid together and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, because he had never seen it. And then Brad and Douglas and Pudge came back, with fireworks, and we all bundled up and headed for the pond and lit off two pretty big legit looking fireworks. One was red and green and the other red and gold I think, I don't really remember; other than being stoned, I was leaning into Zane and looking at everything. The pond is beginning to freeze, it's already got a good layer of ice on it, it'll be a while before it's solid but wow, for it to have been below freezing so much lately that its already starting to seal up that pond is pretty crazy. I'm excited to play on it, even though it'll be cooold.

Thanksgiving's coming up! Me and Zane are going to be pretty much seperate for most of the day, which sucks but it happens and neither of us mind really. We're going to try to go to my Gram's for dessert afterwards, and then I guess just back to his house for a while and then I'll head home since I've got to work Friday. I'll get to see his family though, since I'll be picking him up from Grandmother's in Coventry. It'll be a long day, and then the next day will be pretty nuts, since its "Black Friday" of the retail world. I hope they don't put me on a register, I'd rather just run for games to be honest, it'll make that time go by decently, and I won't worry about fucking anything up.

In other, other news, lovey and I will be purchasing some fungi within the next two days, and yay fungiii.

Fakesgiving is on Saturday- Zane's thinking of something good but he hasn't told me, I can just see his little gears turning when we sit and talk about it. I'm excited, there's going to be a lot of people, I hope it all gels well. Halloween did for the most part, a little bits of awkwardness from my Foster people to my people but that's just the initial way of things. They're all used to Em especially now, and some to Kendra and they like them, and that's really all that matters to me. Hell, I'm still meeting new people. This party however, needs a large food source, I definitely think that we should collect money for pizza or something at some point, if we aren't already going to have food somehow magically conjured. Last Saturday would have benefitted from food, but not inside the Quonset Hut, it's much too dusty and now there's some stuff back in it.

Oh I don't know, we shall see though. I've got an exam to study for all through today, and a math test that I seriously need to suck it up and take. And! a dragon to be built, but that's actually going smoothly, I guess.

Lolz.

2008-11-24T04:02:00Z

XBathroomXLoverX (10:46:39 PM): I want sushi. :(

XxRightInTwoxX (10:46:52 PM): I want my food thats in the fridge.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:46:59 PM): Who do you think will get what they want first?

Perfect.

2008-11-24T03:48:28Z

This weekend was good, ridiculous, crazy, stressful and fun. Zane said that everything was "perfect" I feel like such a stupid geeky girl about this but he never uses the word perfect and over the past 24hours he used it a bunch of times in reference to our relationship, and that just feels so securing and good and warm. The party was good, it was fucking cold and most of the party was outside in that nearly freezing weather, with some heat sources but none the less it was really fun. The drunks were typical and some fucking stupid in some cases and my boy tripped and so did a few others. And I've said it before, I'm such a sucker for that boy with his saucer eyes and that fucking grin. And he tripped harddd until about 5am, give or take the time. And after people left at like quarter to 3am, things got even better because A) I knew I'd be laying down in bed soon, and B) I'd be laying down in bed soon with Zane. And when he's tripping or post tripping in bed, we always end up talking for hours. Except we talked much less than usual, and instead kept busy until about 5am, which we previously had never done with him on acid, and it was well, ridiculous. And I quote him with "that was the best sex I've had in my life." :) And then for him to just keep referring to everything as "perfect" and how he just wouldn't let go of me, and falling asleep wrapped up in each other, faces all buried in each others necks. I don't know but this boy is just, it.
Today I asked him if he had thought about whether this was it, like me and him together, whether he thought about it as forever or not, and he said, "Life is long, but this is perfect."
And well, I've always felt the same as him, there's no such thing as perfect. But hell, if he believes that we're reached a point where we're as perfect as we can get, then who I am to disagree? :)

<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-22T09:49:00

2008-11-22T14:51:34Z

I'm way awake but way tired. Zane texted me goodnight at 7am. -.-' He's so cute, it's the third text message he's ever sent me, and everything is written precisely proper like a good boy. I love it. Haha, I'm staying there tonight, supposed to be some sort of party which I'm cool with; I think I'll drink. >.<

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-20T11:11:00

2008-11-20T16:26:15Z

Em's LJ is ugly and it makes me sad. :(

My head kind of hurts, I'm in one of those do-nothing moods even though there's plenty of things that I should be doing. Zane gets to me in that way, I must admit. I spent all of yesterday with him, just existing and rolling around in his bed, laughing and doing nothing worth doing but being together all cuddly. And we went out to eat and they put us in the dark corner of the restaurant because we're a couple and they watched us and were all "Aw" about us, and that second they weren't looking, he threw a french fry at me, and he was so funny and I just looked at him and loved him so much more for the fact that I let him get away with throwing a french fry at me, the little shit. And now, I just want to re-create that fun nothing in myself and my own head, but without Zane it just seems too lonely. I knew I'd feel this way, when he asked me what I was doing today and I said probably not much because I didn't think my Philosophy professor would be back for class, and he's not and wasn't at 9:30am therefore I slept until now, which is 11am. And when I woke up earlier, I felt that overwhelming driving need to go and see him. To curl up in the cold bed until we make it warm, and burrow under the covers like little creatures and make funny noises at each other, and find each others' lips in that darkness. But I didn't, because I knew I'd blow off Art at 2pm and just stay until night time where I'd need to leave, and it's so hard to just leave, especially in this cold.
I leave my heart in his pocket, every single time.
I feel like a considerably horrible sister as well. It's her birthday today, and I really didn't remember, like I knew, it's ingrained into me, 20th= Kadie. But still, I don't have anything concrete for her, I'm not good about going out shopping and all that. And my mom said to just give her money for her New York trip but that seems rather lame. And I guess I'll just make her a really nice card and all, and then give her money. But, I don't know, I still feel shitty about it. I'm so lazy lately. -.-'
I feel the same way about my friends, I really do. I feel so lazy and lame and horrible. That I've got no problem switching on auto-pilot and driving all the way to Foster, but I can't navigate to Providence, but that's just, I don't know. I'm doing everything on auto-pilot lately and without it, I feel like I'm losing cabin-pressure. Even all the way to Zane's. It's the same routine. I walk in, kiss him and sit in front of the wood stove and he sits down next to me, and we talk for hours and kiss and cuddle and sometimes we watch a movie in bed and coccoon in the blankets and other times people come over, and the talking and laughing just expands to more people. But I really wish that my friends were there too, that they could somehow appear there too. But they do their thing on Friday and Saturday and I do mine, and I just can't fit into the mall, it's not big enough for how claustrophobic it makes me feel and the longer this routine goes the further and further away I feel, and I know that's my fault more than anything but I still feel like I'm floundering, not knowing what to do about it.
<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-17T10:50:00

2008-11-17T15:51:08Z

And all the mosquitos know I love you.

<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-16T21:42:00

2008-11-17T02:51:19Z

It's been a while. Things have just been moving quickly, and I'm losing track of days again, which is really rather fine with me, other than this realization that it's Sunday already and I'm not sure where Friday and Saturday went, other than remembering that Friday night was really great and that Saturday paled in comparison.
I signed up for next semester's classes today, which was nerve racking as usual, to try to sum up my college life into as much crunched time as possible, at least compared to this semester, so that I've got decent time to work and play. But, it's still stressful none the less, it's also my last semester at CCRI, if things go the way that they're supposed to. Which, terrifyingly enough, means that next year I'll be at URI, and in a whole new big scary world that I know I'll hate and cry about for at least a solid month. I'll be making sacrifices, again, and I'll hate that terribly, now especially that Zane is in my life and another loved thing that deserves a large amount of my time. I've been budgeting well enough now, but I still feel like I short people far too much, especially Em and Kendra, and honestly, I don't like it, but it just happens to happen that getting to Foster is much easier than driving to Providence, or Johnson and a good part of me vies for Zane's attention when it comes to his friends, so to bring my friends there into the mix makes it that much harder for me to feel like I'm getting his attention, and I'm still insecure, so that's important to me as well. We're still such a young relationship, so I'm afraid that enough is never enough but it's also far too much, which leaves me mostly confused and thinking hard thoughts a lot.
None the less, today went as well as possible for the waking up too early and sitting around until I went to lunch with Laura and her mom and family, then going to my work meeting that was full of words like "loss prevention" and business terms that mean a lot when you're job is on the line. But I like them all there, I just met some new ones and other ones that I don't see often since I work with a set little group myself most of the time. Which, is again another one of those responsibilities that just end up causing me to sacrifice just a little bit more of myself.
Goodnight.
<3

Hahaha

2008-11-14T03:12:30Z

XxRightInTwoxX (10:06:55 PM): I read your shit

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:00 PM): Drinking without me, I see

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:10 PM): LOLIEZ @ HOLIEZ.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:16 PM): ... wait, I just posted. Like. Just.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:17 PM): o.o

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:25 PM): Which did you read?

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:29 PM): Quinn

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:32 PM): blahblah Mike

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:34 PM): >.<

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:38 PM): Oh my gods.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:41 PM): Yeahhh

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:42 PM): I just did that.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:45 PM): You freaky scary bitch.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:07:46 PM): O.O

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:46 PM):

XxRightInTwoxX (10:07:54 PM): That was pure coincidence

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:06 PM): Yeah, okay.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:07 PM): But remember what you said about the boyfriends and the showers

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:18 PM): So, where's this camera I don't know about? I want to wave.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:33 PM): LOLZ, we have an internet bond going on.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:39 PM): Turn around

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:40 PM):

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:45 PM): hjkdg

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:48 PM): TV screen.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:48 PM): Ey baybay

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:50 PM): Man.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:53 PM): That is kind of kfjslkjgdl.

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:56 PM): Hahaha

XxRightInTwoxX (10:08:58 PM): Sorry

XBathroomXLoverX (10:08:58 PM): I keep looking back.

XBathroomXLoverX (10:09:00 PM): Come on.

Man, sometimes things just fall into place so perfectly. xD

<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-12T21:57:00

2008-11-13T03:02:49Z

:)

E&J and Em, and online with Kendra and people changed my mind ;)

<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-12T17:02:00

2008-11-12T22:04:23Z

:(

<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-08T16:37:00

2008-11-08T21:41:06Z

Right now, though I hate to admit it, part of me is enjoying the horrible cramps that I'm experiencing. -.-' Relief should not be so painful.
In other news, lots of shit happened last night, none of it was good, including Za getting into a car accident and getting arrested right after he rescued his car and nearly salvaged the night. Yay for a few hours of sickening worry, thinking he was charged with possession of alcohol. Thankfully, not. I wish I had been in the car though, instead of Alex and Chad, I really don't think things would've happened the way they did if it was just the two of us. Who knows though? Oh well. Things are not okay, but could be far worse.
Work tonight, Foster in the morning. I'm missing a really good party tonight x_x fuck work.

<3

p.s. they ripped off the string bracelet that I tied to him over 2 months ago. He told the cops they probably shouldn't do that, because it'd make his girlfriend angry. I thought that was one of the greatest things ever. xP Oh that boy. :)

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-06T22:56:00

2008-11-07T03:59:08Z

Sometimes I very nearly hate you. Bitch. But I love you all the same. -.-'

Tired, sick, and bitchy. Goodnight.

<3

I don't usually dream...

2008-11-06T13:16:44Z

Except for some really horrible nightmares every once in a while. But here we are at 8am and I just woke up from an annoying but really funny dream.
So, we arrive at this little town, we as in, a big black monster of a Jeep of people. Me and Em included, with some Chinese cowgirl lady and some boys too unimportant to have faces. And we go into this house, I guess, I don't really know.
AND THEN coming in droves, in SUVs and cars and trucks! Are zombies! And so, me and Em, barricade ourselves in a bedroom with a few other determined survivors. And we attempt to kill every zombie that bangs its way through our bedroom door. I'm armed with a larger than normal pair of standard orange handled scissors. And I don't really know what Em's rocking. But hell, we do a number on those zombies. Until the onslaught stops coming and everyone not infected leaves and goes into the street- to get into their cars- to go become zombies...? And so we got back into the monster of the big black Jeep, where the Chinese cowgirl lady was sitting on her phone, ready to become a zombie too. Then EM drove us to follow the droves of other zombie wanna-be's.
So I figure that this is the ironic moral of the story- that no matter what we do Em love, we are and always will be zombies? Haha, I don't know. But it makes me wish I was a zombie for Halloween :(
Figured I'd jot that shit down before I forgot how I battled zombies most of the night just to willingly become one to go off and terrorize a new little town. We'd make decent looking zombies I guess. I suppose we'll find out when the world finally takes it's dive into bio-chemical warfare and we fuck something up big time. ^^

School today, for the first time since Friday x_X I'm going to be bored out of my skull, I know this. I've got a book to read, that I read the other day since it's quite small, but I like it, and I'm equating a lot of it to Zane, which is cute. It's The Little Prince. It's Zane's book, I stole it from him the other day when we were cleaning. :)

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-05T17:31:00

2008-11-06T01:24:14Z

I feel like I haven't done anything today, which is technically really true. But I don't usually take any sick days, ever, not for myself to lay around and all of that. I didn't go to Art class like I intended to, after I got out of the shower I felt ridiculously nauseous and sat on the couch for a long while, figuring that getting into a moving vehicle wouldn't solve the nausea. And time is crawling and flying and I don't know what to make of the fact that it was completely dark just after 4pm. That makes me feel so mixed up inside and part of me feels like crashing about all this. Today has just not gone right, and instead I'm floundering. I think part of it is that I haven't had any sort of routine in over a week from not going to school Monday and not having it yesterday and not going again today. I don't know. And I've got work on Saturday night, which is depressing in the fact that the weekends are with Zane, but then part of me feels like perhaps this is a good idea, that I need to fade out, I still feel that pull, a hard scary tug, to just fade away and away and stay until someone wants me, but I'm terrified that won't be the case and I really will fade away. Not a damsel in distress, just a distressed damsel, quietly dying and letting herself get to that point.
But god I love him. It's deep in my gut. Even just the thought of him makes my insides twist, hard. He is it. I really firmly believe that I can spend the next few forevers with him. He's beautiful. I'm so weepy and emotional, being that it's nearly time to bleed, and that's how I get- not psycho angry, just really undeniably sad, but he deals with it so well, just watches me with searching eyes, and touches me gently like he's afraid that he'll break me, and I don't know, sometimes I feel as if I'm looking at that last missing piece that doesn't fit inside of me but that I need beside me just the same.
I'm afraid of some possible life consequences though. We dance with the devil sometimes and as much as we both enjoy those visits with the devil; we will not be able to deal with the consequences. Realistically, I work at Gamestop once a week, and he records frequently, just not frequently enough for such a thing. I don't know; but we'll see >_>

<3<3

:)

2008-11-05T18:46:55Z

He left at like 10am-ish after putting on really good music for me, and singing me a horribly out of tune made up lullaby, I fell asleep and just woke up, about a half hour ago. And I don't necessarily feel better by any means, but that was much needed sleep and good music and that boy of mine. God, I love him.
Now, I'm actually going to go to Art class, I figure why skip it when I really don't need to, and just as well, I'm bored and it'll kill an hour of my time that I'd be spending in bed and I don't need to over sleep or I'll be pulling a repeat of last tonight and this morning today. Sooo, farewell.

<3

By the way, Obama is our new President, I've yet to really figure out how I feel about this. I'd much rather not feel anything at all to be honest. He'll be great in my book if he legalizes pot and ya know, things start looking up, but I've got a feeling that's just not going to happen regardless of the president.

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-05T08:11:00

2008-11-05T13:20:52Z

I just called Zane and in a very yucky voice asked him if I could go sleep with him and his voice sounded like his heart was stuck inside of it, and that in turn broke my heart, plus the rejection of him having to come to Warwick anyway. So he'll be here soon, which is really cool except I'd have rather spent the day with him than home while he's got stuff since today is a rare Wednesday where I've got nothing to do and he's got 10,000 things including a concert tonight -.- But oh well, maybe I'll actually fall back asleep with him here? I hope so. I keep waking up super stupid early and my room's too bright because the sun is on an assault mission at 6am these days and my throat hurts and nose is both runny and congested.
And the way his voice sounded and how he called me "honey" and instantly tried to figure out a way to bandage the situation. He kills me, that's just so lovely. I just want to be held for a prolonged amount of time, and I know that'll work. I know I won't want him to go but it'll be okay at that point since I know I'll be half heartedly fighting this, because I really can't guilt him otherwise, that's cruel. But god, he's very nearly perfect. <3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-04T18:03:00

2008-11-04T23:16:25Z

Home again. I voted today, but it's none of your business who I voted for. I don't feel good. I smoked a whole lot of pot today, all day. Which made me so much sleepier. I'm sick, and Zane's getting sick and Amber was sick, since we got it from her. I'm sleepy but I don't want to go to bed before Zane calls tonight or if he doesn't call by 11, I'll call him just to see if he'll come over in the morning time and hang out with Charlie Spawn when I've got class then I'll go back to Foster with him? Or something like that, I'd like to see him and talk to him. I wrote him a note, the first part of it was something I wrote after the first few days we started to hang out. And it was about the first full day in the woods. And it was more poetic than straightforward but I say a lot in it and I don't know what he thought of it. He wouldn't throw it out when I pretended to. I chose to throw the other note I wrote, the upset one, into the fire instead of giving it to him. Those are words that weren't necessarily fair to speak, they were based on emotional crud. Which is all because I'm thankfully not pregnant this month >.< Lovely, but annoying, really. I need to talk to him and clear things up, because I haven't known why I've been so upset the past few days with no reason to. But then I got blood today and that explains it all, because I'm always so weepy right before. He'll feel better knowing that. He was worried, he even said so, and that I don't like to hear. I don't want him worried because I'm worried, because there's no real reason for me to be worried. I just hope that this end of the month nonsense is gone by this weekend.
It was weird to sleep with Zane during the week like this. It throws me off a little big, how tomorrow's only Wednesday but I got a whole night with him, even though things were chaotic and silly for a while. It was a good night, a naked sleeping night :) And this morning we smoked with Amber then went back and cleaned then went to pick up Amber and Ryan again and we smoked some more and then I left and me and mom voted and I tried to get a new phone and now I'm home, still sleepy and stoned and sick, wanting ice cream very badly.
Zane and school tomorrow. Oh lovely days. :)

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-03T07:24:00

2008-11-03T12:33:20Z

It's very much early, about 7:22am, and I told myself I wouldn't leave until later to go to Zane's and I'd try my hardest to go to class instead of fleeing directly to that gorgeous boy who makes all my pieces fit together. But I'm lonely and tired and sick and I just want to crawl into bed with him and have his arms encircle me like it's the most casual exchange we have. I know I'm going to leave soon, regardless of all the empty school promises I'm making myself, and also regardless of the fact that my mom is going to be calling me a few hours from now considerably ticked off that I'm not coming home at any point tonight. But I don't even care. This is just one of those times that I need to be with him, despite the 25 miles it takes to get there, and the gas money I never actually get from people other than myself. I don't even care. I just want him to open his eyes to me opening that loud metal door, and seeing his sleepy face light up. Eh, I feel like shit, all congested and runny at the same time. It's gross and I'ma get it all over Zane, ahaha, but I don't care, and he won't care since I put up with the Green Stuff disease while he had it, and what's a little snot between loved ones? I don't know. I'm so tired, I just want to get in my car and drive...? Almost a scary thought right there, but I've got to do it, I've got to go now.
<3

lxforgetmenotxl @ 2008-11-02T23:17:00

2008-11-03T04:20:31Z

Halloween was good n stuff. I tripped on LSD with like, 15 other people at a party of like nearly 20. It was great. I'm too tired to do this right now. Zane's tomorrow and the next day, won't be home at night. I think I'm going to fade out for a little while; I feel that it's a good time to, I don't know why really, or what for, but I always feel that tug of retreat. I don't know. Goodnight.

Roll face with your lover.

2008-10-31T04:45:45Z

A few good pictures of me and Zane from his birthday. We'z rollin on x. :)

the gorgeous birthday boy :)

we're more thrilled in our heads, trust me. xP his hand looks redic O.O

me and the lovely Bre, both rollin, I suppose we can be both sides of a good time, haha, the happy and the silly. :)

me and my love- I don't remember this picture being taken at all. x)