<3

<3

I'm so tired my brain hurts, my eyes hurt, everything is just like, -ugh- but, all worth it as usual.
Friday morning I worked in the Black Friday nonsense from 8am-12 then went home and lazed for a bit, then went to Zane's and at night rolled face with my boy, with everyone actually, there was one head that wasn't rolling and she was just a really nice stranger who laughed at us all dancing. It was funny, she was a great stranger. Rolling was excellent, people were excellent, Sequoyah dancing, Wylie in a white beater dancing like a chicken, my boy without a shirt on dancing (I don't know how he got shirtless at any point in time, at all, no clue, but it was hot) Me, Bre and Amber dancing, Brad dancing. I danced, you danced, we all danced. That was so tiring but some wicked lovely things were said, about how much we all loved each other and appreciated each other and it was all sweet.
Party was cancelled Saturday night, some people still came over, because they always do regardless, the UVM boys were on their way out to get home for today which sucked, because I only saw them about 2 times, and I very much like them both. People smoked opium, it smelled and tasted really good and made my cold face tingle something silly. People drank as well, vodka still, which I unhappily drink too every time, to stay warm and because the mix-drink always tastes good. People were gone by like 3ish, except for poor very drunk Feeley, who slept on the couch until 9am this morning. Me and Za slept on and off until 2:30pm, it was much needed since I had been away 7am-7am Friday to Saturday then 12pm-3am Saturday to Sunday. Then we went and brought Bre cake and Ramen at Brad's and we hung around for a bit, then Bre freaked out about cigarettes and her frantic freaking voice made all my "war-tired" (as Za calls it) anxiety bubble and on the way home I freaked a little then stood in the doorway at home freaking for a few seconds, then said goodbye and left for my house. Then like a zombie got a few things done.
And now I'm super super stupid exhausted.

Zane's show is Tuesday night at AS220 and I'm so excited xD

<3 Oh and he's the most lovely boy in the entire world. I'm still falling further and further in love with him, and it's crazy.

I'm really fucking tired and I really wish I wasn't because it's Tuesday! and Tuesdays are long and horrible to me. Well maybe not so bad, I might not have my night class tonight, which will be great, I'll get good sleep since I've got to get up at 5am tomorrow to go get Zane. Then I've got an exam, not even class, and not even lab after that, and I forgot about that, because I'll have this big chunk of time between no school and work, which I might use to bring Zane home? Or somewhere, or something, maybe just back to my house with me for a while. Work is only from 3-6pm. I'm not thrilled, but who can really whole-heartedly argue with three hours? It probably won't be busy, I'll alphabetize games and talk to whoevers working too and that'll be that- in and out really. Then maybe Zane's again? When I had mentioned that I might just go home, or go over, I will flip flopping about it, he was leaning towards me going over- which he's been doing lately, laying down his strong but subtle hints that he wants me there when I can be there.

We went out to McDonald's in Connecticut at 8:30pm last night, who does that? We ended up alone yesterday for a long time before like 10:30ish which was good. Brad, Douglas and Pudge stopped over once like right after I got there, maybe around 3pm and we smoked a blunt, and then they left for some reason. So then we were alone for a good chunk of time, and we laid together and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, because he had never seen it. And then Brad and Douglas and Pudge came back, with fireworks, and we all bundled up and headed for the pond and lit off two pretty big legit looking fireworks. One was red and green and the other red and gold I think, I don't really remember; other than being stoned, I was leaning into Zane and looking at everything. The pond is beginning to freeze, it's already got a good layer of ice on it, it'll be a while before it's solid but wow, for it to have been below freezing so much lately that its already starting to seal up that pond is pretty crazy. I'm excited to play on it, even though it'll be cooold.

Thanksgiving's coming up! Me and Zane are going to be pretty much seperate for most of the day, which sucks but it happens and neither of us mind really. We're going to try to go to my Gram's for dessert afterwards, and then I guess just back to his house for a while and then I'll head home since I've got to work Friday. I'll get to see his family though, since I'll be picking him up from Grandmother's in Coventry. It'll be a long day, and then the next day will be pretty nuts, since its "Black Friday" of the retail world. I hope they don't put me on a register, I'd rather just run for games to be honest, it'll make that time go by decently, and I won't worry about fucking anything up.

In other, other news, lovey and I will be purchasing some fungi within the next two days, and yay fungiii.

Fakesgiving is on Saturday- Zane's thinking of something good but he hasn't told me, I can just see his little gears turning when we sit and talk about it. I'm excited, there's going to be a lot of people, I hope it all gels well. Halloween did for the most part, a little bits of awkwardness from my Foster people to my people but that's just the initial way of things. They're all used to Em especially now, and some to Kendra and they like them, and that's really all that matters to me. Hell, I'm still meeting new people. This party however, needs a large food source, I definitely think that we should collect money for pizza or something at some point, if we aren't already going to have food somehow magically conjured. Last Saturday would have benefitted from food, but not inside the Quonset Hut, it's much too dusty and now there's some stuff back in it.

Oh I don't know, we shall see though. I've got an exam to study for all through today, and a math test that I seriously need to suck it up and take. And! a dragon to be built, but that's actually going smoothly, I guess.

<3

This weekend was good, ridiculous, crazy, stressful and fun. Zane said that everything was "perfect" I feel like such a stupid geeky girl about this but he never uses the word perfect and over the past 24hours he used it a bunch of times in reference to our relationship, and that just feels so securing and good and warm. The party was good, it was fucking cold and most of the party was outside in that nearly freezing weather, with some heat sources but none the less it was really fun. The drunks were typical and some fucking stupid in some cases and my boy tripped and so did a few others. And I've said it before, I'm such a sucker for that boy with his saucer eyes and that fucking grin. And he tripped harddd until about 5am, give or take the time. And after people left at like quarter to 3am, things got even better because A) I knew I'd be laying down in bed soon, and B) I'd be laying down in bed soon with Zane. And when he's tripping or post tripping in bed, we always end up talking for hours. Except we talked much less than usual, and instead kept busy until about 5am, which we previously had never done with him on acid, and it was well, ridiculous. And I quote him with "that was the best sex I've had in my life." :)  And then for him to just keep referring to everything as "perfect" and how he just wouldn't let go of me, and falling asleep wrapped up in each other, faces all buried in each others necks. I don't know but this boy is just, it.
Today I asked him if he had thought about whether this was it, like me and him together, whether he thought about it as forever or not, and he said, "Life is long, but this is perfect."
And well, I've always felt the same as him, there's no such thing as perfect. But hell, if he believes that we're reached a point where we're as perfect as we can get, then who I am to disagree? :)

<3

I'm way awake but way tired. Zane texted me goodnight at 7am. -.-'  He's so cute, it's the third text message he's ever sent me, and everything is written precisely proper like a good boy. I love it. Haha, I'm staying there tonight, supposed to be some sort of party which I'm cool with; I think I'll drink. >.<

<3
 

Except for some really horrible nightmares every once in a while. But here we are at 8am and I just woke up from an annoying but really funny dream.
So, we arrive at this little town, we as in, a big black monster of a Jeep of people. Me and Em included, with some Chinese cowgirl lady and some boys too unimportant to have faces. And we go into this house, I guess, I don't really know.
AND THEN coming in droves, in SUVs and cars and trucks! Are zombies! And so, me and Em, barricade ourselves in a bedroom with a few other determined survivors. And we attempt to kill every zombie that bangs its way through our bedroom door. I'm armed with a larger than normal pair of standard orange handled scissors. And I don't really know what Em's rocking. But hell, we do a number on those zombies. Until the onslaught stops coming and everyone not infected leaves and goes into the street- to get into their cars- to go become zombies...? And so we got back into the monster of the big black Jeep, where the Chinese cowgirl lady was sitting on her phone, ready to become a zombie too. Then EM drove us to follow the droves of other zombie wanna-be's. 
So I figure that this is the ironic moral of the story- that no matter what we do Em love, we are and always will be zombies? Haha, I don't know. But it makes me wish I was a zombie for Halloween :(
Figured I'd jot that shit down before I forgot how I battled zombies most of the night just to willingly become one to go off and terrorize a new little town. We'd make decent looking zombies I guess. I suppose we'll find out when the world finally takes it's dive into bio-chemical warfare and we fuck something up big time. ^^

School today, for the first time since Friday  x_X  I'm going to be bored out of my skull, I know this. I've got a book to read, that I read the other day since it's quite small, but I like it, and I'm equating a lot of it to Zane, which is cute. It's The Little Prince. It's Zane's book, I stole it from him the other day when we were cleaning. :)